Learning to Love Myself
May 14, 2020
Learning to love myself has been a long road. It will continue to be a journey throughout my life as we are always changing. The goal is to be improving as we change. Life likes to throw us curve balls and makes us change it’s our job to make sure we change for the better.
One of my favorite analogies has to do with something as simple as boiling water. I was unable to find the original author to credit, but I want to share it anyway. Boiling water stands for the hard times you go threw for me my parents getting a divorce is one. You can choose to be one of three things placed in the water; an egg, a potato, or coffee. Once in boiling water the egg hardens, the potato softens, and the coffee changes the water. Every day I make the actively choose coffee.
I truly began this journey after a terrible breakup. Being around 20 I was learning to truly be an adult and love who I was as one. No way I wanted to be in a relationship right away or for a while. In fact, it was over three years before I started dating again somewhat seriously. So what was I gonna do? Take my self on dates, just go with friends. I took myself to movies, out to coffee, just read at coffee shops, and did school work. Really focusing on me and, learning who I was and who I wanted to be. Obviously some things have changed since then job-wise and life views.
When you spend a lot of time focused on yourself you end up learning who you are at that time. What you like, what makes you happy, and even who you are. Reading books and made new friends, in fact, one of my best friends now was made during this. Being single allowed me to learn who I wanted to be as a person and where I was starting. I found out that I really loved hiking and adventuring alone. I loved going to movies and dinner alone. Learned to enjoy and embrace the silence that surrounded me. There where many hard days that I cried and thought I wasn’t’ enough. Growing up in a small town I felt you had to grow up, get married, and have babies. Which is not a bad thing but it wasn’t for me.
I knew I didn’t want to ” settle down” right away and the opportunity to move abroad came up. Without hesitation, I was in. Traveling and seeing the world was something that I had always wanted. With no kids and no long term partner tying me down why would I. Moving to Germany taught me who I am.
Words of Wisdom
Not everyone is going to be the same as me. Some people want to be moms and settle down quickly and that’s great for them. That wasn’t what I wanted or want now and just like I say in my sex education it’s all about the person. Everyone is different and we should all learn who we are at one point or another. I guess the old saying is true you can’t love someone else until you love yourself, at least that’s true for me. Breaking up with a toxic boyfriend was just what I needed on my journey of learning to love myself. Every day I choose to be the coffee that will change the water and I hope you do too! Stay healthy, stay positive, and don’t be an asshole!