Anal Basics For Beginners
A lot of people have had not the best first experience(s) that's okay but if you want to that doesn't have to only be that first time. Anal play can be stimulating and very enjoyable; no matter what anatomy you have or what you Identify as. For some context, I will diversify by saying a prostate owner or someone with a prostate, when necessary.
Where to Begin
If this is the first time that you adventuring into anal play there are a few things that may make it easier. First off make sure you are relaxed whatever that means to you. Taking a bath, a massage, or even masturbating to help relax you! Going to a sex shop and finding a lubricant as well as even a relaxer, not a number. Unlike numbers, a relaxer still lets the receiver feeling and lets them enjoy the activity; as well as if you are numb tearing is more common. Also if the receiver has prostate numbers will numb it greatly reducing the sensations and pleasure they can get from anal play. One thing that can make this easier as well is a good plug and experimenting with that before jumping straight into intercourse. Lots of lubricant and communication is going to be key to a comfortable backdoor experience.
Starting Anal Play
In my opinion, anal play can be some of the most intimate moments in the bedroom. Most questions I get asked have to do with cleanliness and pain of the act. Cleaning out the colon can be done but typically if you eat mindfully and not within a few hours of play there shouldn't be much in the way of mess. If you do want to douche please do your research prior!
It should never be painful so if it is there is something off. If you experience pain there is something that is not going well. You may need more lubricant, more relaxed, or even just more foreplay. Start slow with it and make sure both of you are communicating with each other. Stimulating other areas of pleasure such as the clitoris or penis can also help relax and to take your mind off just what's happening to the backdoor.
Learning More About Anal
I am a huge fan of following other sex educators and sex coaches because not only do I love empowering others and learning more about myself as well. Podcasts are also one thing that I love to use to get more information. There are quite a few incredible sex-positive podcasts out there right now that can be an incredible resource such as Queers Next Door is one of my favorites currently. Reading is also something I love to do and my top recommendation for a good anal book is Anal Sex Basics
Clean Up
After anal play aftercare can be just as important as after other kinky fun. This is going to be different for everyone but here are my favorite tips to make cleanup. If you are someone who needs physical touch after a session of anal play please make sure you communicate that to your partner and visa-versa for if you need space.
Using silicone lube can be great for anal. However, if you used a silicone lubricant dish soap can help get it off easily without a lot of scrubbing. Towels can be used to place down on the surface to make clean up easy. On nonporous surfaces wiping down with bleach wipes can make it easy to clean and for soft things like blankets or couch cushions a good wash should do the trick.
Anal play can be a fun and comfortable experience for anyone. Being sore can happen but if blood or anything unusual happens please see a medical professional! Done properly and with plenty of lube you may be sliding your way to your next O from down below. More about anal to come in a future blog. Until then stay healthy, stay positive, and don't be an asshole.