Consent Isn't Optoinal
Something that has come to light in the past years is consent. Now that sounds odd that the topic is just coming a common one in the USA. The #MeToo movement has made leaps and bounds of bringing to light the acceptance of victim-blaming and rape culture. So today we are going to talk about consent. One would hope that it's a simple as if someone says no then that means no. Unfortunately in the current society, we live in this is not the case.
Importance of Consent
Some may ask why consent is important. First off it's not your body and you have no right to it (regardless of marriage). Secondly, it is extremely mentally damaging to the mental health of the person. Consent may vary and be different for everyone more on that in a bit. Communication is going to be key. Make sure you have the conversation before anything has happened and that you talk about what you are and aren't okay with. Also, make sure that you are ALL parties are sober for the conversation. Consent can't be given when you are intoxicated on anything! In order to have a healthy sexual relationship with yourself or anyone else, consent should be talked about at the start of it. That's right you can give yourself consent too.
Simplifying the Concept
For those who don't understand exactly what I mean by consent let's talk about it in a few other ways. For instance, we ask dogs for consent more than people ( I don't know the original person who came up with this). How we ask dogs for consent is by reaching our hand out allowing them to smell it then allow them to decide if we pet them or not. To me, it's crazy that something most people do without thinking for a dog but have a hard time understanding the same concept for people. Personally, I feel like this is because a dog can bite and hurt you so there are consequences for not asking for consent. However, in our current system time and time again rapists have gotten off easy and or never even been charged! This needs to stop! My second favorite way to explain consent to people who don't understand is a video from 2015. Consent is as simple as tea. This is a comical way to break down the conversation as if you are just asking someone for tea. I often tell people talking about sex is like talking about food for me and I still use this video as a tool to this day. Please watch the video and support the original creator of it!
Putting Consent to Practice
drawing of two people embracing
Just like with starting anything new it will take time to feel natural. Also, practice makes progress so even if you are in a relationship already you can still have a conversation about it. Some couples use what's called open consent where you don't have to ask explicitly each and every time but more of are you in the mood and no doesn't mean you don't like your partner. Talking about things that don't require consent each time is okay too such as kissing and other things. Unless previously talked about it never hurts to ask consent because you show that person you respect them and their boundaries and that's really attractive to a lot of people. This can be especially important because you never know if someone has past traumas that could cause PTSD and that's not okay to put on anyone!If you really are struggling book acoaching session and we can practice it together! Consent is something we should make a priority when interacting physically at all with others. You do not have the right to anyone else's body. Also, you should respect anyone you are choosing to share space with and you deserve respect from them as well! Happy consenting and until next time stay healthy, stay positive, and don't be an asshole!